Everyone take a deep breath...

Near the end of the second season of The OC, Sports Guy Bill Simmons of ESPN Page 2 fame wrote a fantastic column comparing 90210 to The OC. He gives the ultimate edge to 90210 (which turned out to be the correct assessment—90210 ran for ten years while The OC barely made it four), and one of his reasons is plot development: “At the rate they're going, by Season 4, we'll see Ryan kidnapped by a UFO or something.” Actually season four saw Ryan falling into an alternate universe where, in a parody of It’s a Wonderful Life, he got to see what Newport Beach would be like without him, but still, a pretty good prediction.

I’m worried about Glee already.

Last night’s season premiere, “Showmance,” included the following: the glee club appearing to at least temporarily win over the student body and principal (Igbal Theba), Rachel (Lea Michele) being driven to desperation by her attraction to Finn (Cory Monteith), Emma (Jayma Mays) making desperate plays for Will (Matthew Morrison), Rachel almost making out with Finn, the revelation that Terri (Jessalyn Gilsig) is experiencing a hysterical pregnancy, Terri lying to Will about said pregnancy, Sue (Jane Lynch) planting some of her Cheerios on the glee club in an effort to destroy it, Will falling for Sue’s ploy and giving Rachel’s solo to cheerleader Quinn (Dianna Argon—could they cram anymore ex-Heroes into this show?), Emma reaching closure on attraction to Will and agreeing to date Ken (Patrick Gallagher), and Will quitting his second job so far for this series—a nighttime janitorial gig at the school that was meant to finance a new house that he and Terri both decide to buy and abandon the idea of buying in the same episode.

At this rate, Glee might be kidnapped by a UFO this season.

This manic flurry of activity isn’t a good trait in a sitcom, and not just because of the “viewers already feel like they need to watch each episode twice to keep up” factor. The message of instant gratification that the show promotes in its female characters (because its male characters all seem to drift through the action obliviously) is potentially a destructive one: if insta-resolution can’t be reached, the problem is with you!

The show has a lot of built-in, quirky edginess that needs to be allowed to develop, not thrust upon viewers by the mountain-full. It’s okay, Glee, you’ve got more than enough hype and viewership to guarantee that even the Fox guillotine will stick with you for at least one season.

Start Your Engines...

It’s the day after Labor Day, which can only mean one thing: Fox and the CW try to conquer the 18-49 crowd’s quota of new TV shows before anyone else can.

I’m prepared to be disappointed, but here are the new shows that I’m excited about:

1) The Good Wife (CBS). I don’t know why, but CBS shows seldom do it for me. But Chris Noth returning to a variation of his role as Mr. Big? You have my full attention. I’m a little worried that the show is going to over-rely on star power, with Mr. Sex and the City and Juliana Margulies of ER fame as the two leads, but I do love a good female reinvention drama.
2) The Modern Family (ABC). I’m hoping that this show will be what In The Motherhood should have been. But given ABC’s track record with the subject (In the Motherhood, Surviving Surburbia…) it’s more a hope-springs-eternal mindset that pushes this show to the number two slot.
3) Glee (Fox). Attention: Fox has finally learned that targeted marketing works! IMDB reports that the show, which is basically a remake of the ill-fated Freaks and Geeks set to music, is currently up 793% in popularity. The gleek in me was already prepared to love this show, and the fact that it gives a home to the genius of Jane Lynch (late of The L Word) and Lea Michele (of the Broadway genius Spring Awakening) convinced me. But Fox? You know how sometimes you get over-excited about the rare potential Nielson success of one of your launches and proceed to pimp the show until everyone is sick of it? The tweet-peats have gotta go.
4) Cougar Town (ABC). It seems to be the year for re-launching the careers of former network stars that enjoyed cult-followings. If that’s going to be the theme, I’m glad that Courtney Cox made the cut, even if it is with playing the reincarnation of Edie Brit from Desperate Housewives. Tons of talent involved in this series—Cox plus Bill Lawrence (Scrubs)’s skills as producer—I’m hoping that the script will reflect it in a fast-paced snark-fest. Hopefully the time slot (9:30 on Wednesday), doesn’t mean that it’s just a placeholder for the return of LOST in January.
5) Eastwick (ABC). I cannot imagine the fabled town of Eastwick without Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Susan Sarandon, and Cher, but for the sake of the tremendous combined talents of Lindsay Price, Rebecca Romijn, and Jamie Ray Newman, I’m going to try. And it would be nice to see ABC be able to expand their woman-friendly line-up into the realm of fantasy.

Sorry, CW. The early premiere didn't work here. You're further down on the DVR prioritizer.