There was a reason that they went away the first time, you know...

E! Online is reporting that the CW’s remake of Melrose Place only pulled a disappointing 2.3 million viewers.

What?! No takers for filling the vacancies left by the likes of Heather Locklear, Courtney Thorne-Smith, and Marcia Cross with tweens with no major acting credits? Really?! It couldn’t possibly be because the people that were originally captivated by this show are now WAY out of your normal demographic, could it, CW?

In fairness, I haven’t seen it, and I’m not likely to. The lack of internet buzz tells me all I need to know.

It was kind of cute when they brought back 90210. But season one’s debut out-performed season two’s debut by a two-to-one margin. Message: people only watched the show to see how Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty aged, and now they’re over it. And in the interim, the CW continues to give teenage girls everywhere adult models that are past the awkwardness of adolescence as prototypes of what it takes to be among the non-tortured elite of your local high school. Way to go, guys, I’m sure you haven’t inspired any eating disorders or desperation to grow up too fast AT ALL.